Dane Ortlund in his book, Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers, writes, “We don’t feel the weight of our sin because of our sin” (68).
This means my sin weaves a veil over my eyes either blurring the true intentions behind my actions and thoughts or covering them all together with a self-preserving image of righteousness and purity. I do not mean that there is no good in me (or you), that would deny God’s presence and grace in the world. That would deny Jesus’ power to transform our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26) by His hell breaking death and resurrection. But while there is good in me (and you), I have great skill in self-deception and it is easy for me to believe that the bad things I do are good.
It doesn’t take much imagination to recognize my self- deception. I trust the Word of God when it says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8, NIV). So I know anytime my mind goes blank as I kneel for confession during church, it is not because I’ve been sinless. I have “sinned against Him in thought, word, and deed, by what I have done and by what I have left undone” (Book of Common Prayer, “Confession of Sin”), I’m just having a difficult time seeing it.
I need my imagination to help me rip the veil from my sin-blind eyes. In this case, I need to borrow from the imagination of J.R.R Tolkein and Peter Jackson’s orcs from The Lord of the Rings to rightly see the ugliness of my sin. I admit that I haven’t actually read The Lord of the Rings yet (it is on my summer book list), so much of my orc imagination comes from Peter Jackson’s rendition in the LOTR movie series.
If you haven’t read LOTR or watched the movies, the orcs are short and bent over creatures with pointed, elvish ears. Their skin is tight to their bones and looks bruised and sick. Their teeth are pointed and jagged. They are the monsters you imagine as you bolt up the stairs from your dark basement. But the most important detail about them is in their origin story. Saruman, a wizard who was once a mentor to Gandalf, explains, “Do you know how the orcs first came to be? They were elves once. Taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible form of life.”
Under the evil power of Sauron, the fallen elves are wholly transformed to reflect the power they serve. The orcs and other creatures under Sauron’s command are examples of the uncreative work of sin. This fall not only changed their heart and their allegiance, but it changed their entire body into a distortion of the creatures they once were. Throughout the movie we see the orcs operate as mere cogs in a wheel, manipulated and ruled by the evil powers. Their dark, loud, fiery, underground factories exist in stark contrast to the bright, clean, and peaceful dwelling places of the elves.
They are motivated by power and their work is done through destruction and disorder. The blood on their teeth is only a foretaste of the violence in their hearts. Under the hoards of their feet and weapons, good things and good people are torn down and nothing good is built up. There is no flourishing in the kingdom of darkness; there is only unrestrained desire, violence, and fragmentation.
Borrowing Tolkein’s orcs as an imaginative mirror to see my sin is no frivolous task. I would much rather turn back to the shire and ignore the dark world within. But even the shire is not free from the ravages of evil. So, let us plunge forward with Jesus by our side into the world of orcs and I will show you how they lay bare my sinful desires and inclinations.
There are many ways you can borrow another’s imagination and use it for your own. But, in this case, I imagine two scenarios depending on my situation and mood. First, for a quick reminder of the uncreative work of sin, I only have to imagine my sin distorting my body into the body of an orc. Bitterness toward others becomes a huge growth on the side of my face. Snide remarks and unkind thoughts turn my teeth into sharp, pointed death traps. Pride bends my back into an unnatural curve.
I could go on. This is not the most comfortable way to use my imagination, and it may not be comfortable for you either. However, it is a helpful exercise for me to use in moments when I could let myself be absorbed by the darkness of Mordor or continue on the narrow path trusting that God is my guide and salvation.
Next week on the blog, I’ll share the second way that I borrow Tolkein’s and Jackson’s orcs for my imagination. And before we get too bogged down in self-examination, I’ll also share one piece of imagination from the prophet Isaiah. This image is one that both assures us of our righteousness in Christ and stands alongside us as we grow in maturity in our faith.
In the comments below, share how you use your imagination as a mirror. How can you borrow Tolkein’s orcs for your imagination?
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