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Writer's pictureGabby

I'm not a fixer-upper


I often fall into the trap of living like I am a fixer-upper. My weaknesses and sins are just like older countertops and dated light fixtures that need a Chip and Joanna Gaines size renovation. Pick some new appliances, demolish the old, rewire the electrical, and BAM -- it’s all better. In other words, set some goals, kick some habits, maximize my day, and BAM -- I’m all better.


But, can all of my problems and failures really be solved with a list of goals?


Now I’m a firm believer in James K.A. Smith’s idea that “You are what you love: The spiritual power of habit .” He posits that “Our action—our doing—bubbles up from our loves, which, as we’ve observed, are habits we’ve acquired through the practices we’re immersed in. That means the formation of my loves and desires can be happening “under the hood” of consciousness. I might be learning to love a telos* that I’m not even aware of and that nonetheless governs my life in unconscious ways.” In short, your actions can form your beliefs (loves).


I perform countless daily conscious and subconscious rituals that lead me away from Christ. I don’t have to look far to see that there are problems with gravitating to my phone the second I wake up, or noting how scrolling social media changes how I feel and what I buy. These are only two daily rituals that form me in ways that don’t align with the gospel. Discerning the direction of our daily habits should be a regular practice for Christians who want their lives to be shaped by Christ.


But, when I view myself as a “fixer-upper” and plan a way to attack the issues with new habits and goals, I am doing something different than what Smith writes about in You Are What You Love. Instead of immersing myself in practices that form me toward the wisdom, heart, and ethos of Christ, I am actually setting certain goals to form an idealized version of myself. I strive after an image of myself that looks good on the outside, but is wracked with anxiety, hurry, and shallowness on the inside. Through a carefully curated (and algorithmically suggested) list of goals and practices, I try to checklist my way to my idealized self. I read books, listen to podcasts, write checklists, check checklists, then start new habits with little progress to show. My “home value” doesn’t go up, my heart doesn’t usually feel any better, and I’m not any nearer to the heart of Christ.


Does this sound familiar?


We are suffering from goal overload, and we can’t manage the habits to sustain the fix. The result is goals left unmet and constant burnout. But the worst outcome is that by “focusing” on so many things, we are not growing in true, faithful discipleship to Christ in the lives we are actually living. We hop from one goal to the next or plan a new routine every week, hoping that something will give us the results we want.


We are obsessed with achieving the appearance of the good life, but not the actual Good life.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22-23


IS THIS THE GOOD LIFE?


So I urge you, brothers and sisters, to consider a new question as you stare at your list of habits and goals. Read God’s Word and figure out what is the good life. Then discern and decide if the goals and habits you are practicing support an idealized image of yourself or if they are going to help you grow in apprenticeship to Jesus. When we make goals dependent upon an idealized image of ourselves, we are going to come up with a thousand solutions to fix what is wrong. In reality, we can’t develop enough habits and succeed at enough goals to reach that gilded image.


Instead, Jesus says “abide in me and you will bear fruit.” His life, teaching, death, and resurrection is the image that we are called to reflect, not the cultivated images of our Instagram mentors. Abiding in Jesus doesn’t mean that your whole day has to be an extended Bible study time. But it does mean that our apprenticeship to Jesus is the measure by which we encourage or limit whatever we do in any aspect of our lives.


Whether you want to grow in your prayer life or walk every day during lunch, pick something and stick with it. Fight the temptation to start another challenge, program, or club until you are actually disciplined in the task you started. A faithful and whole life is not built upon a thousand half started ideas, it is built upon discipline, patience, and He who has the greatest endurance of us all, Jesus.


“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” - Luke 16:10


*Telos- an ultimate object or aim


In the comments below, share your experience with goal setting. How have you fallen into the trap of setting goals like you are a fixer-upper? How do you choose and set better goals?


Thank you for reading my blog!


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